February 2010
013110; 9:24 PM
today I made 50$$$, wrote ANOTHER letter to theresa, spent the day feeling pretty in sweats, and went farther than I thought I would. I also went out and bought the ‘adult’ version of where the wild things are which looks pree sweet. the only thing that couldve made it better is there not being any adults (in the world) and bassbassbass :p haha. tomorrow I’m hanging out with joe,...
fuck, I just found my new favorite artist. →
January 2010
how I notice myself changing;
I’m more verbose
I’m outgoing (no more self applied introvertical label!)
I’m more at ease with myself.
I’m happier than I’ve ever been.
it’s been easier to jump out of those depression pockets.
more crafty/artsy/organized.
I can apply myself better.
I dont lash out as much as I used to.
I can smile and feel pretty;
I’m brighter.
I'm clawing out my eyes here.
she really does drive me crazy, I really do hate her with my whole heart. I tried talking to joe about it, and it was good to have someone listen, but I think I annoyed him. which is sad, I thought he was my friend >_<
I was looking at summer’s happiness thang and decided to do one myself;
putting up all my different drawings in my room and realizing I actually am pretty hella good.
...
scum.
you insolent little piece of nothing. you don’t do anything for anybody, not even yourself you’re lazy, you’re a slob, you’re disgusting. your head is so far up your own ass that you don’t even know how to socialize properly.
normal people don’t growl at their sister’s friends. they don’t kick their new boyfriends. they don’t stab kids, and...
5:45 PM
headaches are earthquakes in my brain. balmy breezy spring days. our footsteps (mine were bare) in that cornfield. you volunteered to carry me. and I volunteered to call you my greatest friend. cameras, comments, the night sky. me rolling my pants up, you rolling your eyes. if you could see me now. if we hadn’t had eachother then, we wouldn’t have been so lost now. but I enjoy being...
thats the last of the ash spam haha. (ignore my...
things on my mind as of late;
octopi>owls
how I feel…<3
my view on myself.
my art?
my capacity to focus.
buddhism.(:
stretching my lobes.
tattoos.
food.
rings.
tea/coffee
friends.
love. (love?)
how I talk to people.
how I react.
how happy I am.(:
two weeks ago, and I wouldve still be upset from how I was earlier. now, just one visit, and everything changes. and I could say it was him, and that...
on yellow roads through indigo woods;
I snapped at joe when I shouldn’t have. I know. and I said sorry, and that asshole had to be all like LOLNOURNOT. <_______________< tbh, I really was sorry. it’s funny, because i kinda hate his guts, and whenever I try to apologize for hating his guts, he has to go and make me hate his guts MOAR. thats a lie, I don’t hate him. I just hate how he’s around all the...
I don't want to be a one trick pony.
there’s no need to be excellent at one thing. I want to be just plain good at a lot of them. just good enough to be enough. I want the experience, the adventure, the thrills, the downfalls. I want to hold hands, to whittle fingers, to give soft little sighs. even if the people who I’m with don’t truly love me. I want to splash ink on canvas, and use charcol, and lead, and...
9:50 PM
so today was an askjkffff day. I wish I could type more abou the way I feel, but its like my mind is going fifteen thousand miles an hour and my fingers can’t keep up.
firstly, I am happy for how much I’ve improved emotionally over the past week. and it’s only been a week! maybe I’m making up for lost time, lol. But really, my happiness, the butterflies, the new verbose...
4:59 PM
I’m so restless and antsy right now, I don’t even know what to do with myself.
